Presence

'If you love someone, the greatest gift you can give them is your presence.'
-Thich Nhat Hanh

A few months ago I heard about Marina Abramovic's retrospective at the MOMA, called 'The Artist Is Present'. For three months, she sat in a chair in the museum and wordlessly kept eye contact with anyone who sat down in the chair across from her. Many people had intense reactions to this experience, sometimes even crying. When I heard about these reactions, it seemed quite natural to me that people would respond so strongly to the profound experience of simply sitting and looking at someone who was simply sitting and looking at them.

When you think about our daily interactions, even with those who are close to us, they are usually filled with conversation, activity, individual thoughts about the past or plans for the future, not to mention the endless checking-in with social media. It is incredibly difficult to do what Abramovic did - just be present.

There is a such a strong impulse to fill the space between ourselves and others. And it can be an incredibly vulnerable experience when there is nothing to distract us.

And an incredibly powerful experience.

Metta meditation

Of all the different types of meditation practices, Metta meditation is my favorite.

"The Pali word metta is a multi-significant term meaning loving-kindness, friendliness, goodwill, benevolence, fellowship, amity, concord, inoffensiveness and non-violence. The Pali commentators define metta as the strong wish for the welfare and happiness of others (parahita-parasukha-kamana). Essentially metta is an altruistic attitude of love and friendliness as distinguished from mere amiability based on self-interest."
-Metta, the philosophy and practice of universal love


While this concept of Metta is lovely, it may seem hard to access on a daily basis when we are caught up in our daily stresses and worries. The method of Metta meditation is very simple and I've always found it incredibly effective. Even at my most selfish, ego-ridden and closed-hearted moments, when I take fifteen minutes to practice this meditation, I am always struck at how I am able to open my heart and how much more comfortable and happy I am when I do. It begins by offering Metta to ourselves, then a loved one, then a person we feel neutrally about, then someone we feel hostile toward, then all sentient beings.

The method is simple. Begin in a comfortable position and breathe calmly for a few minutes, letting the mind rest and thoughts come and go. When you feel settled, bring your awareness to your heart center.  (I imagine that I am breathing through my heart chakra, that each inhale brings energy into my heart and each exhale releases energy from my heart.)
When you are ready offer yourself metta by saying the following:
May I be happy
May I be peaceful
May I live with ease of heart

When you feel ready to move on, bring to mind someone you love and offer them metta:
May you be happy
May you be peaceful
May you live with ease of heart.

Now move on to someone you feel neutrally about and offer them metta:
May you be happy
May you be peaceful
May you live with ease of heart.

At this point in the meditation, we imagine someone that we have had some difficulty with. At first, it doesn't have to be someone who has hurt you very deeply, it can be someone you find irritating or someone with whom you've had hostile interactions or arguments with in the past. Building from the metta you have offered to yourself, a loved one, and a stranger, bring this 'difficult' person to mind and offer them metta.
May you be happy
May you be peaceful
May you live with ease of heart

Now imagine the entire world and all sentient beings. (I always find that it's incredibly easy to offer metta to the whole world after facing the hurdle of offering it to someone I find difficult :)
Offer them metta:
May all sentient beings be happy
May all sentient beings be peaceful
May all sentient beings live with ease of heart

Remain in this stage until you feel ready to end your meditation. 

When I'm finished with this meditation I always find it refreshing and it grounds me in the nature of the heart, which says 'Of course I wish all sentient beings are happy, peaceful and live with ease of heart.' It costs me absolutely nothing to wish it and yet the nature of the ego and our daily fears and stresses can make it seem like a concession to wish well for others.