the christmas season

A friend of mine said recently that they experience the 'christmas mood' most through popular culture, especially tv shows, taking them back to their childhood. This whole season is rife with nostalgia and there are so many sensory memories associated with it. The scent of scotch tape brings me back to wrapping presents with my mom on Christmas Eve. Any Nat King Cole christmas song takes me back to one of my very first memories - listening to christmas albums with my dad at age 3.

I enjoy going back to those times and remembering the feeling of Christmas as a kid. But I started wondering recently what is the core of the feeling I had as a kid. When we say "it doesn't feel like christmas this year." or "I can't seem to get into the spirit this year." what do we mean?

As a kid, the thing I loved best about the christmas season was that the adults around me became children. My parents shelved their daily stresses and became downright impish as they decorated/shopped/baked. They were open to joy in a way that we as kids were naturally.

Which makes me think of the heart chakra. As young children, our hearts are open and it is as natural as breathing for us to give and receive love. When we grow older and experience pain, trauma or heartbreak, our hearts become more closed and we are wary of giving and receiving love. It feels vulnerable. We can be mistrustful. We might fear rejection. We think of our heart as something fragile that needs to be protected. And we protect it by closing it up and keeping it guarded. In truth, our hearts are incredibly strong when they are not restricted by our fear.

During a season like christmas if we participate fully in the spirit of giving, our hearts just open. They can't help but to open. Giving is their function. We become joyful, impish like children. And by giving (and thereby opening our hearts) our hearts are open to receive the love that is around us.

Reading "the Grinch that stole christmas" to a four year old or walking down the street, delighting myself with random memorized lines from "It's a Wonderful Life", the main theme that strikes me is the point where each of them - the Grinch and George Bailey, open their hearts the grinch by giving, George Bailey by receiving but both by opening their hearts and feeling connected to the love around them.

Open hearts aren't just for children. They're not just for the Christmas season. They're not just for a specific time of year when the focus is on giving gifts.

Thich Nhat Hahn says "If you love someone, the greatest gift you can give them is your presence."

That's what the Whos down in whoville were singing about. That's zuzu's petals.

acceptance

A while ago, my sister was stuck in traffic. She turned to her four year old daughter and said "I am not a fan of this traffic. Not a fan." To which my niece replied "But there is traffic, Mom. There is traffic on the road."

Back seat zen is so much cooler than back seat driving. Yet it's always easier to see what other people need to accept or let go of. I'm sure it was easier for the four year old to accept traffic than her naptime.

This same sister, an athiest/agnostic, used to find it very annoying when I used the phrase "let go and let god." To be honest, I used that phrase jokingly the first time and teasingly every other time after. I have just as tough a time with that idea as she does. I am also not a fan of traffic.

To truly accept something we have to understand our capacity to impact a situation and accept that we can do nothing beyond that point. There is a peace that can come with that, if we let it. But it can be hard to accept our capacity, to accept the limitations of our power over our environment. We want to believe that we have the power to get what we want. To arrive at destinations on time. To create a situation that makes us happy. And very often, we're able to do this. There are shortcuts and back roads and traffic reports. But there are also three hundred million people with free will in this country. Every situation, every moment is made up of countless other situations and moments. They are constantly changing, elements coming together and dissipating. There is a limit to our control.

When we talk about accepting things, we're not talking about surrendering completely to fate. Laying down and saying "I just have to accept it. That's just the way it is." Because then you're only accepting the power of the world around you - all the other factors. You're not accepting your own power, your own ability to impact your environment.

And true strength is in the middle. We exhaust ourselves when we make ourselves responsible for things that are truly beyond our capacity. And we create victims of ourselves when we don't accept the power we DO have in a situation.

It can be hard to recognize our capacity, especially when we're so used to overreaching it or not testing it. But when we find it and settle into it, the feeling is much more stable. It makes it a bit easier to sit in traffic and say "I'm not a fan of this, but it's there...there is traffic on the road." Instead of railing against it futily or waiting for divine intervention to clear the way.